When I close my eyes, I see your arms reaching for my shoulders, pulling me into you as you wrap your arms around me. I see you roll your eyes as you flash a smirky smile. I see us together with our lives before us, hand in hand.
When I close my eyes, I see you. Over and over, there you are.
When I close my eyes, I whisper, don’t let this only be a dream.
Understanding the difference between fear and intuition takes willingness to have an intimate dive into your own mind.
You have to be willing to open yourself up, pick apart your emotional responses, understand associated feelings, and acknowledge your securities and insecurities.
When you’re facing a fear response, the deciding action thoughts you experience cause a pushy energy. You feel rushed.
When you are working with your intuitive self, you experience calmness, peace.
We can struggle with the two overlapping when we feel threatened by our timeline. Your intuition may be telling you exactly what your fear is pushing, but it is in these moments we have to step back, take a breath, and trust what our intuition knows.
When we push, we are only pushing ourselves away. And while we wish it was easier to simply trust our intuition, we are human and will feel that overwhelming desire to have our intuition realized before it’s capable of coming together physically. But know, even if we falter, if we push when reality isn’t ready, your intuitive self is still willing to guide you. We simply have to step back and trust the patience in waiting to see it through.
even when you can’t hold on to what you love
when you love,
love is all you will associate for that in which you love
You could never be the reason my heart hurts. There is no pain I can associate with you.
There are small smiles, softened eyes, light joyful sighs, but pain? There’s no pain when I think about you.
Who I am, when I care, I have to know I tried. I have to know I wasn’t the one who gave up.
Even when it may seem I am disregarding my worth, I never do. I know what ground I stand on. I know what ground I will walk. I know who could be capable of walking that ground with me. But who I am, when I believe in you, I will not be the one who gives up.
I will give in, but not give up.
My heart is heavy from the weight of this new grief. That lingering loss. Wanting so badly to hold on to what isn’t holding you.
It’s new a experience. Knowing the reason why either had to say goodbye, but understanding those reasons were only excuses. Excuses to not feel complete. Excuses to allow the doubt fear brings to win. Excuses to not believe someone could love who we truly are.
And now we are here. Proving our doubt true. Knowing all the while that’s the biggest lie we are telling ourself.
I want to embrace you
Look in your eyes as I tell you I love you
Tell you I don’t want to lose you
I find myself questioning how one person could feel so strongly for another when that person does not feel the same.
It’s making me think that when you feel so strongly towards one person, it’s because you can see that person. You can see who they are. You see them completely and you love them.
I think when we feel this way towards another person, but the other person does not feel the same way towards us, it’s because they can’t see themselves the way we see them.
They don’t see themselves completely. They do not see who they are capable of being, because that is who they are; instead, they still see their images of self doubt. They haven’t been able to overcome those thoughts that sabotage what it’s like to be happy.
I think that’s why.
I don’t think it’s because they don’t like us. I think it’s because they don’t understand how we could truly like them.
I hope you understand it wasn’t desperation that made you reach out. I hope you see your love. I hope you see how deeply you cared. I hope you know that’s not desperate at all.
You’ll only fight for what you care for, what you believe in. Believing in another should be celebrated. Knowing you didn’t want to give up, praised.
Your patience is special and hard to find. Don’t ever regret being patient with those you longed to see through. You are fiercely loyal.
Choosing instead to focus on what I desire for myself. Finding the love I give. Creating the environment to accept the love I deserve.
I am saying goodbye to those who weren’t meant for me while acknowledging the love I held for them. Celebrating that love I was able to give. Admiring myself for understanding their worth and the hope I held for them.
To Be Honest In America 