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We can fall silent

We can fall silent in the chaos
We can fall silent in the calm
We can fall silent in pain
We can fall silent in pure joy

We should fall silent

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in the quiet beating it plays,
.. .. .. .. be still my heart, i am saved

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Weighing the air around me
I feel void of it’s reality
I’m walking through my days
Reminded of tasks still at bay
Searching for eagerness
Searching for results
But there I lay
Stagnant in the best way

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My eyes were closed tight
Behind them a story began
Behind them I found what was
I found what use to be
I watched as it asked of me
I listen to it question why
I saw it hang it’s head as my body shrugged off
a no written in my eyes

I woke shortly after
knowing I didn’t take the hand
knowing I didn’t choose what was
what could have been

This is growth,
…………………… I whispered to myself

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There are parts of me that fall uncomfortably into the next
There are parts of me that linger on what hasn’t happened yet
There are parts of me that search and search for reasons why that somehow seem to hide
There are parts of me that sink in subtle humbling of reality

There are parts of doubt that still exist

But there are dreams that float in and out
Reminding me I’ve said no
Reminding me I’ve chosen to step out of a well mended mold
Reminding me comfort doesn’t reside in pain
Reminding me love isn’t a game

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Giving to me life
I take my first breath
Bonded by warmth
Skin to skin our love transcends
Only parents know
No one can break this hold

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I’ve been quietly consumed
………..In awe of where I am

I’ve been whispering understandings
..Admiring how my thoughts respond

I’ve been existing in comfort
………………Void of unknowns

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I’m thankful

I’m thankful I chose what I chose with such pure intentions.
I’m thankful I gave my whole self to someone with the intentions of working through any and everything life could produce.
I’m thankful, above all, it didn’t choose me too.

I’m in awe of how ‘never say never’ rings so true.
I’m in awe at how peaceful another’s heart’s beat plays harmoniously with me.

I’m in awe at how unexpected life can be.

I, too, am so very grateful what life handed me isn’t at all what I expected.

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The galaxy behind your eyes gives way to the infinite realm you live in.
The bronchial tree swaying as you breathe.
Cells running wild but not so free.
Neatly organized, structured.
There is a whole universe within you waiting to be released.

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I woke from a dream
Covered in memories painted on empty screens

What I saw wasn’t what I envisioned
Thick lines of void where colors faded
Memories I seemed to lack

It wasn’t as it seemed
The plans I dreamed

They aren’t what I chose
Rather, understanding of what had to be let go

Finding balance I couldn’t have planned
Finding comfort in my own hands

I woke from a dream
Embraced reality