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I’m reminding myself words hold meaning to whom they are spoken through. It’s my choice to decide if they hold meaning to me too.

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I can’t hear my shallow breaths, but I can feel the rise and fall of my chest. God is whispering, “Rest.” Not from pain, sorrow, or fear, but to be able to embrace what will soon be here.

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It was more important to me to know happiness than to sit in
contempt.

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I found myself judging who God chose to be the example, who God chose to work through and set apart. My mind would raise an eyebrow, all the while my heart was trying to whisper… “a sinner like you.”

God didn’t choose the righteous, the holy and just.
He chose the human.

He chose the sinner. The one whose heart was not pure-

Ordinary, broken people loved by God.

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Sometimes I wonder, when life feels so at peace, if this is really my reality. Am I this happy? Am I content? Am I living the life I’m meant?

I take a breath or two— mull over if that’s all really true, because it’s not that I believe it is —it’s that I know it is. This life —this reality, this is what’s meant for me.

I’m happy in this peace, this quiet serenity.
This is the life that was made for me.

It’s crazy how we’re conditioned to think things have to feel hard. I’m here to tell you —life is not hard when you’re living what you’re called to do.

God, I give all the praise to You.

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I’m learning to exist outside of my carefully constructed self. I know it’s preparing me for what’s next. I know something beautiful is coming. That God is preparing me for the best. I feel really blessed.

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Maybe it was the way the dreams snuck up on me
How the weight of the world tried to bury me
It’s been something that’s been lingering
Making me squint my eyes—
Question if I should research a deeper why
But there’s no reasoning with lies
With doubts and fears that have no place here
That’s the devil inside
Trying to quiet my drive
Trying to make me doubt God will provide

That’s probably why even in REM I smile
Facing those fears with— “okay, what’s next”
Proving to myself in depths of chaos my mind hides
I find my way to a peaceful surprise:
I’ve got God on my side

I open my eyes
Soft breath of laughter released as I think
Even in my dreams fear can’t control me
I give a grateful smile
I’m where I need to be
Here in my reality and the depths subconsciously

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God gives back better.

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God gives back better.

Better than what we lost
Better than what we had to let go of
Better

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I haven’t been able to sit with my thoughts like I would before. I’m no longer surrounded by quiet rooms, silent nights —to hear myself think. My thoughts are quiet.